haikuDo you ever feel like you just don't know what path you're traveling on... even though you've been walking it your whole damn life?
I feel like that today.
I feel like little Hansel lost in the woods, Greta killed by the Big Bad Wolf, the trailings of Grandma's intestines hanging off his red hooded hankerchief.
I'm alone on this path, and I'm out of breadcrumbs and I don't know where to go.
I wish they had GPS for days of depression. Or at least roadsigns. My dad tells me that it's normal (he's a shrink if you haven't been following my logs) under the circumstances, but I don't know. I get these days of darnkess a lot.
Maybe if I keep looking around I'll find a leftover breadcrumb and I'll find my way out.
I've been thinking about heaven lately.
I had just read the book "The Shack" which takes a very interesting look at the trinity and what heaven might be like. I also just read "The Lovely Bones" which is also fiction about this girl who gets murdered and she goes off to heaven.
Then I found out on Wednesday that my friend who was a missionary in Haiti was killed in the quake. It's so unfathomable to think about it. He was so young and so full of life. How does this happen? And more than that... I'll never see him again.
I mean, I know I will see him in heaven, but I really have no idea what heaven is going to be like. Will there really be streets of gold? I mean, isn't that a bit much? Will there be mansions? Or is all that a metaphor?
Will it be like in "The Shack" where God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are a close companion of friends who have a fantastic sense of humor, who are more loving than you can imagine, and are not anything like what you would generally think of them?
Will it be like in "The Lovely Bones", where God is busy somewhere, but you pretty much hang out in versions of other peoples heavens?
Or maybe that Robin Williams movie "What Dreams May Come" where whatever place you want will be your heaven. You can travel in the blink of an eye and even go back to earth and be reborn.
There's so many options, and yet, no one can really know. How will I ever find my friend again in all of this confusion?
I'm at a horrible, dreadful, loss this week. The worst part is.. I'll just never know till I get there.
So long Brian, you'll be missed by so many! I love you.
It's hard to really appreciate your life, especially if you live in a third world country.
It's hard to really understand love, unless you are brave enough to share it.
It's hard to pack your bags and travel to another country, but you tel l yourself you'll only be there for a month
It's hard to preach to strangers, but God will tell you what to say.
It's hard to comprehend the the words of strangers, but it's easy to feel the gifts they give you.
It's hard to sleep somewhere that isn't home, but at least you have a bed and not a box
It's hard to feel anything but greif, when a quake kills so many so brutally.
It's hard to breathe, when your missionary friend is found dead in a collapsed building.
